Living Hope’ support group helps survivors step into healing light

The Other Day by Donna Culotta

The curtain opens, a single spotlight throws a bright circle of light and into it steps my friend and yours, Robin Leger. It’s not her musical talent that’s putting her stage front; it’s her courage, resolution and pure gutsiness.

Robin is a suicide survivor and has found her voice to speak for those who can’t and to work for those who are unable.

“September is “Suicide Survivors month,” she began, “and a little over a year ago I began the group Living Hope because when I needed a group there was nothing out there.”

Robin, who has done extensive research on this unholy, stigma-riddled topic, said that her group is also for people with mental illness because, “that’s 99 percent of what drives a person to decide to end their life.”

Speaking with authority and from experience, Robin explained that she has been suffering with depression since she was a child.

“My depression is genetic,” she stated implying that new discoveries have uncovered a depression gene.

“I always felt it even as a little girl. I was always shy and melancholy and it wasn’t until much later that I realized I was suffering from depression.” Growing up Robin said she had great parents, a good childhood and family life but hanging over everything was this “darkness” as she called it.
Depression was bad enough but add to it three separate incidences of sexual molestation that just drove the spike of mental illness deeper into her psyche.

The first started in high school with a teacher “who had help from a senior boy.” Twelve years later there was another extended battle with sexual abuse in a situation she could not dig her way out. Between those two times was another from a female masseuse. “I began to wonder if I had a sign on my forehead,” she said.

With all three abuses, Robin never told anyone, never said a word. Pushing down her anger, resentment and frustrations only served to heighten the depression.

“One Sunday I made a plan, after my children left for school on Monday I would swallow as many pills as I could.” That attempt was thwarted because earlier a conversation with a family member, who is an RN, threw red flags and Robin ended up in the ER. From the local hospital she was sent for a week to Crossroads in Alex. The problem was that facility was for drug and alcohol addicts. “’It was the worst most degrading experience of my life,” she said. “When I was released, I vowed I’d begin a support group because I needed one and there was nothing around.”

It took 12 years for the group to come to fruition. In the meantime there was another suicide attempt. “I tried to slit my wrist but I didn’t cut deep enough.”

Her openness on such a misunderstood subject is startling and can catch one off guard. Robin is done with hiding her feelings and not telling a difficult story. “If I can help just one person, it’s worth it.”

Living Hope support group is Robin’s effort to create a safe place where everything is confidential and help is at hand. “There’s really no structure,” Robin explained. “If someone wants to talk about their week or what’s troubling them, we do that.” If no one has anything to share they just enjoy each others company.

Robin lifted her arm and began, “I said I would never have a tattoo, but,” and she pointed to a small tat cross on the inside of her arm near the wrist, “I have this one because it has a semicolon in it. For writers, a semicolon continues a sentence or thought, for suicide survivors it means they want to continue life and their story isn’t over.”

Then in a graphic statement reflecting her openness and honesty, she added, “It also covers the scar.” Living Hope support group meets every Tuesday at the Union Bank Community Center on Main Street in Marksville from 6 to 7:30 p.m.

It’s for suicide survivors, those suffering with mental illness or survivors of someone who committed suicide. Call 305-8108.

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