T-ALPHONSE SEZ

Tee Alphonse Sez

Now lemme clear it up right here at the start. I ain’t my daddy, Alphonse. He was so liberal he thought a tax cut was when you got a coupon from the Dollar Store. Me, I’m more conservative. Not because I read no book, but because this parish raised me up like that. Avoyelles done got red as a boiled crawfish, so I reckon I’m just a product of my people.

On the national side, I’ll admit it. I voted for Trump. Don’t act shocked, half y’all did too. But lemme tell you, them tariffs done killed me in a way no politician ever did before. Community Coffee went up so high I had to switch to that cheap off-brand that taste like bayou water with chicory mixed in. Every morning now I mourn my good coffee, all because the Donald wanted to play poker with China. If that ain’t a tragedy, I don’t know what is.

Down here at the state level, guvna Jeff was struttin’ like a rooster in the yard, sayin’ he lowered everybody’s car insurance. And yeah, maybe my truck’s insurance went down a few dollars. Butcher, my homeowner’s insurance went up so high I’m thinkin’ I might as well let the place burn and move in my cousin’s camp by the water. That’s Louisiana politics for ya. Give you a nickel with one hand and take a dollar with the other.

Now local politics. That’s where I got my eye. Next year, a few of the long-time office holders are fixin’ to step aside. I’m curious to see who’s gonna step up and try to fill them seats. It might feel like a game of musical chairs, only with an accordion playin’ in the background. And with $tate rep Double D and Short Dr. Jay steering the newspaper and the online news, it’s sure to be interesting to see how they cover these races. Between the two of them, we’ll get plenty to follow and more than a few stories to talk about down at the coffee shop.

So if you want a taste of Tee Alphonse, that’s it. A little coffee, a little insurance, a whole lotta politics, and maybe a joke or two to keep us from cryin’.